Since Thea's birth I have found celebrating her life has been important but it hasn't always been easy. Celebrating the life of a baby who never really got the chance to live has no handbook, there is no social conventions or normals here. Traditionally people celebrate a persons life by sharing memories and accounts of… Continue reading A picture is worth a thousand words
This sounds like a very light hearted post, when I guess a lot of things I share can be a bit..well...'heavy'. But over the last 18 months TV has really helped me heal. More than anything it has given my brain time to rest and switch off from reality. However, there is a caveat to… Continue reading A guide to TV in grief.
This Baby loss awareness week I have been struggling to know what to do, what to write. When i noticed a IG post by still standing mag to share a day in your life. So this is my day, a day parenting after loss... I wake up to Arla wriggling and rolling, singing in her… Continue reading A day still standing
As I have mentioned before, through the sands forum and social media I have made some dear friends, people I now regard as close friends despite having never met them. I found my warrior tribe; My warrior mamas. Each of these women lost their baby at a similar time to us losing Thea. In this… Continue reading Esther and Juno
At 21 weeks pregnant with Arla I found myself having survived several pregnancy after loss milestones, but still feeling a million miles away from bringing a baby safely home. I knew we were having another girl, I had felt kicks but there were still so many days ahead. Here are some of my thoughts and… Continue reading 21 weeks and waiting
At 15 weeks pregnant with Arla, it is fair to say I was so frightened things would go wrong again. I didn’t feel I could survive another loss. The fear was certainly beginning to consume me. Looking back the fear seems fleeting, softer. But reading the words I wrote at 15 weeks I remember the… Continue reading The voice of fear and the voice of reason
Ok, for those of you have never actively tried to get pregnant or visited an online TTC forum are probably already lost. Let me help: BFP ( big fat positive) and TTC (trying to conceive). Since loosing Thea all I wanted to do was to get pregnant. At first I just hoped I could recreate… Continue reading The BFP*
As some of you will know, 2 months ago Rob and I welcomed our Rainbow baby, Arla into the world. Now, while I didn’t post anything on the blog about this at the time, I still continued to write and save how I felt. And I intend to share these posts too. But why didn’t… Continue reading A pot of moisturiser and a rainbow.
Its about 2hours before clock here in the UK will strike midnight and mark the beginning of 2018 and the end of 2017. Part of me wants to stick my middle finger up at 2017, close the door on it and never look back. 2017 has without a doubt been a challenge. 2017 sucked. But… Continue reading Dear Thea
October brings with it cooler weather here in the uk but also baby loss awareness week, and while this can be a difficult week for many, it also is a great opportunity to get people talking, amazing fundraising and campaigns were put in the spotlight. I wanted to do something to support the 'break the silence'… Continue reading Break the silence